Hi again everyone..
It’s been almost 4 months since I was told I was to be made redundant and I actually finish here at the end of this month. Although I have worked on my cv and been on a few interviews, I have not yet landed a new job. If I were planning on continuing in the same career path it would probably be easier. However as you know, I really want to try something else ( although I am still not sure what that is yet).
When I was first told about the redundancy I was understandably upset. The first thing that went through my mind was the idea of a 40 something year old mother starting again, possibly in a new career. Of course people do it but it’s not easy and takes alot of planning and a steely determination to reach for your goals. So I was battling those feelings, alongside feelings of inadequacy and failure. To be honest I was feeling a bit sorry for myself . These feelings are not uncommon with redundancy. For the first few weeks I would burst into tears randomly and just wanted to wallow by myself. I was also very angry at everyone. With myself, work and inexplicably with my partner.
Whilst I was swept up in this bubble of self pity, I didn’t realise the impact this was having with others around me. In the beginning, my partner gave me a some leeway, after all I had just been ‘dumped’ and was allowed to feel a bit sorry for myself. However as time has gone on, I can see how my behaviour is affecting the family.
The uncertainty about my future and my feelings of inadequancy are making me short tempered and ratty. Sometimes I am just not fun to be around but I can’t seem to stop myself. I know that we will get through this but I know it is getting to him so I really want to stop. For all our sakes.
I would love to hear if anyone has any advice on how to change or get back to the ‘old me’??
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