As many mothers will attest , being a mother often comes with alot of guilt. Mummy guilt can be all consuming. In fact a recent survey found that 90% of the women surveyed felt some kind of guilt about how they were raising their children.
For many women, the guilt starts as soon as they start maternity leave.The guilt can be about anything from how much time you spend with them to leaving their child with a childminder. Of course one of the biggest sources of guilt is working. Many working mothers feel guilty about working long hours or even just working at all. Working and spending hours away from your child can exascerbate the guilt you already feel.
The truth is you don’t need to feel this guilt. There is no reason for you to feel guilty about working. Whether you need to work to keep a roof over your head or you choose to work , working mothers should always feel empowered by their choices.
Let’s take a look at some ways to help alleviate some of your guilt.
Reminders and Lists
You have alot going on. You are juggling childcare, your career , yourself and the rest of the family. It’s no wonder you are feeling overwhelmed. When you are feeling overwhelmed and stressed, the guilt can start eating away at you without you realising it.
Get organised. Set yourself reminders so nothing falls off your radar. Whether it’s work related, an activity with your child or even just some ‘me’ time, setting reminders will keep you on track. Use your phone or an app like Trello to help keep you organised.
Be Kind To Yourself
It’s easy to try and fit into that ‘superwoman’ stereotype we all know about. You know the one. The working mother that comes home after a hard day at work, cooks a 3 course meal for the family, plays with the kids, does the homework, packs them off to bed then does some yoga be falling into bed at midnight! It doesn’t have to be like that.
Give yourself a break and accept that you don’t have to be perfect. Give yourself time to breathe. If you need some leeway at work, speak to your team. Perhaps you don’t have to attend certain meetings? Can a deadline be extended?
Schedule time with the kids and the rest of the family. If you can , get family members to help you with the childcare. More importantly , schedule time for yourself. You do not have to be all things to all people all of the time. Give yourself a break.
Be Clear About Your Motivations
When you start juggling motherhood and family there are bound to be some trade offs or compromises. For example you may not be able to make every meeting. You may not be able to get that promotion right now. You may have to miss a parents evening from time to time.
Make sure you keep reminding yourself of your motivations. Remember why you are doing this.
Think about the short and mid term goals you have for yourself and your family. These will help alleviate some of that guilt you are feeling.
Ask For Help
You are allowed to ask for help. It’s not a sign of weakness. As women we usually find it very difficult to ask for help. Especially if it’s related to children.You don’t have to do everything yourself. Ask family , friends or even neighbours for help. There is absolutely no shame in needing help.
Take A Break From Social Media
Does spending time on social media make you feel even worse? There is nothing worse than seeing other ‘perfect’ mothers juggling work and family for your peace of mind. Stop following those ‘perfect’ mothers. Don’t forget alot of what you see has been staged anyway. Nothing on social media is as it seems.
You can take it a step further by taking a social media break. Delete the apps from your phone. Use that time more contructively.
We hope that has helped.We’d love to hear your stories. Drop us a line below!