There have been a few tears since I found out about my impending redundancy. For the last month I have run the full gamut of emotions.Some tears, regret, anger and fear. I have moved through all those stages and now I’m at ‘acceptance’ . I was a little confused about my feelings to be honest, as I had been unhappy for a while and was mulling the idea of leaving anyway before it happened. Yet, I still didn’t quite understand why I felt the way I did about it.
I have really tried to work out why I felt the way I did. If I’m really honest with myself I think the regret is because I part of me is angry at myself for not having made a move myself. I have been unhappy in this role/company for a while but it was comfortable. I could work flexibly sometimes. It was easier to stay than to move. Why didn’t I make the move years ago? I don’t know. I could use the fact that I’m a mother and it was easier but my child is 2 years old, I’ve been here for 10 years and unhappy for at least 5! So that’s where the regret and anger comes from.
Then comes the fear. Fear for whats out there. What will I do at my age? Will I ever work again? Do I need to retrain? It really is the fear of the unknown. No one really tells you what to do after redundancy. I don’t really feel that I have had enough support from work, family and friends. It’s like people think it’s contagious.
So now I’m trying to get my head round interviews, recruitment agents and CVs.
By the way… what IS a Hybrid CV???? It sounds like a car….